Today’s guest blogger is Jen Coken, life coach and stand-up comedian who, in the past 20 years, has coached thousands of people to go beyond their self-made limitations and produce breakthrough results. She uses humor to help her clients transition through tough times to rediscover their joy, purpose, and passion. After losing her Mom to ovarian cancer in 2011, Jen wrote a book about her journey aptly titled “When I Die, Take My Panties.”

Check out Jen’s interview with Dr. Veronica .


Jen Coken

Over the years, how many times have we found ourselves saying “I just need more balance in my life?”

I’m here to tell you that “balance” is a bunch of baloney, because “balance” doesn’t exist.

So, if “balance” doesn’t exist – why do we chase after it like a cougar at a frat party during freshman orientation week?

When I was young, I never thought about finding balance. I was too busy living. Getting into college, graduating, landing my first job, learning to live by myself in a new city, making new friends, falling in love, figuring out what I loved to do.

But now that we’re older, we need “balance.”

We chase after this elusive thing, because we desperately want to believe it exists.

We really, really (did I say really) want to achieve this ideal state of perfection.

We think that a day will come, we’ll call it “someday”, where we will feel like we have it all together:

  • The laundry will be put away.
  • The house is spotless.
  • You are the correct weight for your height.
  • You meditate.
  • Your children are happy.
  • Your partner adores you.
  • If you are single, dating is exhilarating!
  • You love your body, every inch of it, from head to toe.
  • No one ever cuts you off on the highway.
  • You will have time to do everything you’ve always wanted to do with your life.
  • You will have a serene smile on your face at all times that reflects the true inner peace you have achieved.

In this ideal state of perfection, life is perfect. There are no ups and down, everything is on a completely even keel.

Sound familiar? It should because that is also what shows up on the CT Monitor in a hospital room when someone flat lines.

Balance is a bunch of baloney because life is not about being balanced.

Life is meant to challenge us. Life is meant to feel like those perfect underwear that the young lady at Victoria Secret sold you convincing you you’d have no panty lines and now they are crawling up your butt like a crab trying to come out of a pot of boiling water.

We learn when we are uncomfortable. Pick that wedgie out of your butt when no one is looking at you, and you my friend, are the victor! You’ve just discovered a new strategy. And if you can do that, well, you can do just about anything.

Life is not about balance. Life is about the ebb and flow and the moments in between. Think of the ocean. There is a moment where time seems to stand still between the coming in and going out of the tide.

That’s balance.

If you can learn to catch those moments, to move with the ebb and flow of life –you will find yourself balancing in the “in between,” and you can stop beating yourself up for not putting the laundry away.


Dr. Veronica Anderson is an MD, Functional Medicine Practitioner, Homeopath. and Medical Intuitive. As a national speaker and designer of the Functional Fix and Rejuvenation Journey programs, she helps people who feel like their doctors have failed them. She advocates science-based natural, holistic, and complementary treatments to address the root cause of disease. Dr. Veronica is a highly-sought guest on national television and syndicated radio and hosts her own radio show, Wellness for the REAL World, on FOX Sports 920 AM “the Jersey” on Mondays at 7:00 pm ET.

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